Life After Marriage

Many of my friends and cousins ask me as how is life after marriage. To be very frank, I'm not even sure as what is the right way any married couple should feel after marriage.

For me, I feel comfortable and glad that the wedding was finally over. The wedding was planned very fast and thank God everything went smoothly. I am glad that people who mean a lot to me took out the time to attend the wedding.

We had lots of help from friends and we persevere through the ups and downs of planning.

It is not easy to handle the pre-wedding tasks like doing the shopping and everything when you stay away from the family and need to ask friends for suggestions. Every Sunday before I went to my hometown was hectic.

But after the wedding, at this stage, I feel really comfortable with the shared life I had with my husband. As I am still living in Delhi and he in some other city, things have not changed much for me. But still there are many things that I can feel have been changed. Even though we are living in different cities, yet we still carry on to be who we are and continue to do what we do.

There are definitely some shared roles and responsibilities like calling up our parents on regular basis, making call to each other and asking about the day’s plan or what you have eaten and the list goes on.

For me, during whatever time we have spent together, I learned about respect and communication and learned to speak and express ourselves. Even now we do our best to share what our thoughts and feelings are.

What I meant when I say respect is in the sense that his working hours are different and I need to accept that.

Communication in the sense we share with each other our thoughts, problems and challenges so we can better understand each other and learn to cope together and plan a better future.

When we share, we become closer too. Two heads are definitely better than one, aren't they?

Even after almost being married for one month, I don’t have the answer as how is life after marriage. I will say it’s beautiful, romantic, and peaceful and so on…………..

My Dad………The Real Hero Of My Life

My early memories of my life are full of lovely images of my dad. Handsome, tall, disciplines, happy and so gentle! Now after so many long years, nothing has changed -- neither the way I look up to him nor the way he take care of me and my sisters.

My dad has always been an epitome of all that a man should be...compassionate, tough, strong, gentle, firm, decisive, understanding and above all a man of values.

He always put others happiness before his, thus gaining so much love and respect not just from us but from other members of the family, neighbors and his colleagues.

Ours is a conservative family where a girl child is not welcome with open hands. He had always shown the same measure of happiness at the birth of all his four daughters. For him we are his gems and 'peace to his eyes.

Today whatever I am is just because of him. He has supported me and my sisters in all possible way which I don’t find amongst other members of the family. He understands us like no one. Just a “hello” on the mobile phone can make him realize what I am going around. No matter what I can never repay him the love and care he has devoted on all us.

Today I strive to be the strength of his shoulders because I am proud to be my dad's daughter. Love you dad...need you always.

It’s all in words...

Today, when I woke up in the morning, I felt relaxed and a different kind of happiness. At times, some petty things just seem to make our day and we don’t have an idea about it. These may be so trivial to us yet we experience some untold happiness and we possibly try to spread this happiness throughout the day. This morning I spoke with one of my sister with whom I was having some problems for quite some time. But today, I felt that things are going to be right soon.

When I spoke to her I could feel the warmth of her loving words, her enticing voice and the love and care she have for me. It wasn't as if spoke to her at length but our short conversation has undoubtedly left an impression in my mind. The feel good factor certainly made its presence felt. Here a big role is played by the words she and I used while communicating with each other.

Our elders have always advised us to use words judiciously. Words which work wonder at very place need some careful placement. But the flip side is if used unnecessary or in excess brings unwanted sorrow. In this mechanical world where we all are rushing a few loving words gives great consequences. An enthusiastic pat, a loving gesture, a warm hug, a benevolent smile indeed does make a difference. Mellowing down even the harshest words helps any fragile relationship turn into rock solid.

At this moment, some words of a famous band are striking my mind, - “it’s only words and words are all I have to take your heart away". And the deep meaning of these words is so true. Try it... The words you use to express yourself say more about you than you think. In fact, your vocabulary and the use of appropriate words say more about you than the message you are trying communicate. You are judged by the words you use.

My English teacher in school used to tell us that “words are not just sounds that we make, or inanimate objects to toss around, but words carry emotions, memories and evoke feelings. Before uttering a word, it’s important to question every word that er use and how someone can interpret them.” Today, I have really understood the meaning behind it.

So, remember it’s all in words and so use it in a precise manner.

Why Such A Loneliness Feeling.............

I feel lonely even if I am amidst a huge crowd of people. It makes me feel crying, but this is not the solution. There is no one who understands me and since few months every single word uttered by me is molded in a different way. This is creating lot of problems in keeping healthy relationships with my counterparts. I feel like screaming so loud, in hope that the loneliness and sadness will go away; in hope that everything will be normal as soon as possible. There is so much to do but so little desire to do them. I just want to stay at home, in bed, watch movies, read some good books, cry, eat chocolates and sit idle.

I don't want to get used to it. But the pain of being lonely is simply hard to describe. I'd rather live without it then live like this forever. I simply hate when people ignore me as if I don’t even exist and I don’t have an identity. Well, it’s not the first time someone ignores me and I can bet on my life that it won't be the last. But if this is what makes people around me happy….then let it be. I have changed or others have…I don’t have any answer to this question…but always remember contribution will always be there from both ends for any defined problem.

Nowadays I don't want to go out with my friends. Is that bad? It's just that I don’t feel like going and I don’t understand what the big deal about it is? If I choose to walk away from them...then there will be some reasons behind it. Hate me if you want, but I'm just being honest.

I hate feeling those feelings. I really do. It's not fair. I wish all my friends the best of everything and I know they will be always close to my heart. Guys...why do you walk away from me and why this indifferent behavior? That's my theory. I wish I knew the truth.

I really feel lonely. I'm going to work now and sulk for a while, perhaps days, weeks, months or for ever...who knows.

I'm feeling homesick.................

It's a funny feeling, being homesick, and it's not something that I'm used to.

As it has been years I am staying away from home and so am quite accustomed to live all alone. My parents came to visit me last weekend, and I enjoyed every single second with them. Four days were full of happiness and I wish such days will come soon.

And as they left for Guwahati today, I'm experiencing my first real pangs of homesickness. I guess it's because I'm just back to the boring corporate life and there is nothing more than work and work only…While I was coming to office I had the idle time to think about home…..how things were different some few years back. At that time I used to feel so secure under the company and guidance of my parents. But now every single decision I have to take on my own.

I miss Guwahati city like freaking crazy. I haven't been home in so long I feel so disconnected. Thoughts of the wonderful days are totally overwhelming my mind. I just want to be back there, in my own room, sharing moments with my siblings, watching nature from close proximity, enjoy rain on and often, hanging out in parking lots at night, reconnecting with my loved ones………... I never stop missing Guwahati, ever. It's a special place that I can never forget. It's not only my hometown as I feel such a strong connection to those mountains, the culture, and the people.

In fact, my experience of feeling homesick was a feeling of wanting to be somewhere other than where I am now, just for a little while. I wanted to be close to my family and have fun with some old friends. My first thought was that perhaps it is familiarity that I miss, and then I started to wonder if there was something uncomfortable in my life that I want to get away from. Why was it that I had been feeling perfectly happy and then I had felt homesick?

Amidst all these emotions, I have realized that I was dwelling on the past and fantasizing about the future and as a result I was not enjoying where I am today. But now onwards….there will be nothing like this.

Great Expectations……….

Too many expectations always cause problems. And remember you don't always get what you expect. Having expectations from our close counterparts is quite common and I am even not an exception in this regard. I am not sure whether my expectations are genuine or not. But as far as expectations are concerned, I am sure no one has a control over it.

Having a number of expectations from others such as friends, siblings, parents, colleagues and others is not something new for me. I have been brought up that way. Having great expectations sounds great however when the expectation is unfulfilled, I become disappointed. This is a common problem for many.

For example say, if I expect you to do a thing in a certain way and the concerned person doesn't show up that way for me, I will most likely be disappointed. Another disappointing thing about expectations is that they often do not come true. Most of the time, a person is not aware of the expectations one is having from him or her. Expectations are in the eye of the beholder. Can you see the problem?

Never give yourself away in any type of relationship. By "give yourself away," I mean making sacrifices that conflict with what you need from out of that relationship. Never sacrifice your own personal integrity with regard to getting your needs met. The healthier image you have of yourself, the less likely this will occur.

Needs must be communicated and that too in a direct mode. Expectations are rarely ever communicated. Once you make the other people realize your expectations, things can be better in life. I think this is the only way to have healthy relationships.

In my opinion, unfulfilled expectations always cause problems. Try this: "No expectations, fewer disappointments!" It's that simple. Not easy. Simple.

Friends

I am not good at writing poems but at times I try to be poetic.......This particular poem is for my friends who complete my life in a lot many ways...

Friends
 
One day when you feel alone or whenever you miss me
Remember I’m at the end of a phone
Just give a call and I will be there beside you always
I love you loads
And that must show
I want to let the entire world to know
I have a friend that is you
I love you for all you do
And love and care I have experienced from you
Bearing all my tantrums when I was going through
Some of the toughest days of my life
You helped me through anger,
you've chased away fears.
You held me through sadness,  
Telling me you care for me and I even mean a lot to you
Sharing all small and big, sad and happy moments
Have helped in getting some of the best days in my life
Thank you friend you mean a lot to me
Maybe now I will get to realize
How much you mean to me