Why Such A Loneliness Feeling.............

I feel lonely even if I am amidst a huge crowd of people. It makes me feel crying, but this is not the solution. There is no one who understands me and since few months every single word uttered by me is molded in a different way. This is creating lot of problems in keeping healthy relationships with my counterparts. I feel like screaming so loud, in hope that the loneliness and sadness will go away; in hope that everything will be normal as soon as possible. There is so much to do but so little desire to do them. I just want to stay at home, in bed, watch movies, read some good books, cry, eat chocolates and sit idle.

I don't want to get used to it. But the pain of being lonely is simply hard to describe. I'd rather live without it then live like this forever. I simply hate when people ignore me as if I don’t even exist and I don’t have an identity. Well, it’s not the first time someone ignores me and I can bet on my life that it won't be the last. But if this is what makes people around me happy….then let it be. I have changed or others have…I don’t have any answer to this question…but always remember contribution will always be there from both ends for any defined problem.

Nowadays I don't want to go out with my friends. Is that bad? It's just that I don’t feel like going and I don’t understand what the big deal about it is? If I choose to walk away from them...then there will be some reasons behind it. Hate me if you want, but I'm just being honest.

I hate feeling those feelings. I really do. It's not fair. I wish all my friends the best of everything and I know they will be always close to my heart. Guys...why do you walk away from me and why this indifferent behavior? That's my theory. I wish I knew the truth.

I really feel lonely. I'm going to work now and sulk for a while, perhaps days, weeks, months or for ever...who knows.