It’s all in words...

Today, when I woke up in the morning, I felt relaxed and a different kind of happiness. At times, some petty things just seem to make our day and we don’t have an idea about it. These may be so trivial to us yet we experience some untold happiness and we possibly try to spread this happiness throughout the day. This morning I spoke with one of my sister with whom I was having some problems for quite some time. But today, I felt that things are going to be right soon.

When I spoke to her I could feel the warmth of her loving words, her enticing voice and the love and care she have for me. It wasn't as if spoke to her at length but our short conversation has undoubtedly left an impression in my mind. The feel good factor certainly made its presence felt. Here a big role is played by the words she and I used while communicating with each other.

Our elders have always advised us to use words judiciously. Words which work wonder at very place need some careful placement. But the flip side is if used unnecessary or in excess brings unwanted sorrow. In this mechanical world where we all are rushing a few loving words gives great consequences. An enthusiastic pat, a loving gesture, a warm hug, a benevolent smile indeed does make a difference. Mellowing down even the harshest words helps any fragile relationship turn into rock solid.

At this moment, some words of a famous band are striking my mind, - “it’s only words and words are all I have to take your heart away". And the deep meaning of these words is so true. Try it... The words you use to express yourself say more about you than you think. In fact, your vocabulary and the use of appropriate words say more about you than the message you are trying communicate. You are judged by the words you use.

My English teacher in school used to tell us that “words are not just sounds that we make, or inanimate objects to toss around, but words carry emotions, memories and evoke feelings. Before uttering a word, it’s important to question every word that er use and how someone can interpret them.” Today, I have really understood the meaning behind it.

So, remember it’s all in words and so use it in a precise manner.

Why Such A Loneliness Feeling.............

I feel lonely even if I am amidst a huge crowd of people. It makes me feel crying, but this is not the solution. There is no one who understands me and since few months every single word uttered by me is molded in a different way. This is creating lot of problems in keeping healthy relationships with my counterparts. I feel like screaming so loud, in hope that the loneliness and sadness will go away; in hope that everything will be normal as soon as possible. There is so much to do but so little desire to do them. I just want to stay at home, in bed, watch movies, read some good books, cry, eat chocolates and sit idle.

I don't want to get used to it. But the pain of being lonely is simply hard to describe. I'd rather live without it then live like this forever. I simply hate when people ignore me as if I don’t even exist and I don’t have an identity. Well, it’s not the first time someone ignores me and I can bet on my life that it won't be the last. But if this is what makes people around me happy….then let it be. I have changed or others have…I don’t have any answer to this question…but always remember contribution will always be there from both ends for any defined problem.

Nowadays I don't want to go out with my friends. Is that bad? It's just that I don’t feel like going and I don’t understand what the big deal about it is? If I choose to walk away from them...then there will be some reasons behind it. Hate me if you want, but I'm just being honest.

I hate feeling those feelings. I really do. It's not fair. I wish all my friends the best of everything and I know they will be always close to my heart. Guys...why do you walk away from me and why this indifferent behavior? That's my theory. I wish I knew the truth.

I really feel lonely. I'm going to work now and sulk for a while, perhaps days, weeks, months or for ever...who knows.

I'm feeling homesick.................

It's a funny feeling, being homesick, and it's not something that I'm used to.

As it has been years I am staying away from home and so am quite accustomed to live all alone. My parents came to visit me last weekend, and I enjoyed every single second with them. Four days were full of happiness and I wish such days will come soon.

And as they left for Guwahati today, I'm experiencing my first real pangs of homesickness. I guess it's because I'm just back to the boring corporate life and there is nothing more than work and work only…While I was coming to office I had the idle time to think about home…..how things were different some few years back. At that time I used to feel so secure under the company and guidance of my parents. But now every single decision I have to take on my own.

I miss Guwahati city like freaking crazy. I haven't been home in so long I feel so disconnected. Thoughts of the wonderful days are totally overwhelming my mind. I just want to be back there, in my own room, sharing moments with my siblings, watching nature from close proximity, enjoy rain on and often, hanging out in parking lots at night, reconnecting with my loved ones………... I never stop missing Guwahati, ever. It's a special place that I can never forget. It's not only my hometown as I feel such a strong connection to those mountains, the culture, and the people.

In fact, my experience of feeling homesick was a feeling of wanting to be somewhere other than where I am now, just for a little while. I wanted to be close to my family and have fun with some old friends. My first thought was that perhaps it is familiarity that I miss, and then I started to wonder if there was something uncomfortable in my life that I want to get away from. Why was it that I had been feeling perfectly happy and then I had felt homesick?

Amidst all these emotions, I have realized that I was dwelling on the past and fantasizing about the future and as a result I was not enjoying where I am today. But now onwards….there will be nothing like this.